The Best Lubes for Menopause Dryness, and How to Choose
It might be just be menopause or perimenopause.
Has sex has started to physically feel different lately? Maybe things don't feel as slick as they used to, maybe there's a burning or raw sensation during penetration that wasn't there before, or maybe it takes longer for your body to feel aroused and ready? If any of these sound familiar, you are far from alone. These are some of the most common signs of the hormonal shifts that happen to many women, and are often related to fluctuations due to perimenopause or menopause. Not to worry, it doesn't mean your sex life is over. It simply means your body needs a different kind of support than it used to.
One of our favorite phrases bears repeating, “You are not the same person you were at 20 (which is often a very good thing!). And so, the things you do and don’t like in sex, and the things you want and need, have likely changed a bit. THIS. IS. NORMAL.” Our bodies change.
We are here to give you the low down on which lubes actually work, why the ingredients matter, and how to figure out what your body needs. If you are also dealing with ongoing pain, irritation, or symptoms beyond dryness, you might benefit from a conversation with a clinician, which we can also assist with. For now, lets deep dive into lubes
Vaginal Moisturizer & Lubricant: Are They the Same Thing?
In reality, yeah, they kinda are. In practicality, you use them differently, but the ingredients can be very similar if not the same.
- A vaginal moisturizer is something you use regularly, every few days, whether or not you are having sex. It is absorbed into the tissue over time and works more like a skincare routine: it helps rehydrate and plump the vaginal lining itself.
- A lubricant is something you reach for in the moment, right before or during sex, toy use, or masturbation. It's a surface coating to reduce friction and make things more comfortable during sex play.
Several products on this list, like those in the Wicked Simply Timeless collection or the Sutil lubricants, are formulated to work as both. You can use them daily as a moisturizer and reach for the same tube when it is time to play. That dual function is exactly why we like recommending them for folks navigating the symptoms of menopause or perimenopause.
Ingredients to Stay Away From
A study using a lab-grown model of vaginal tissue found that lubricants high in glycerin and propylene glycol measurably damaged the tissue's protective barrier, while low-osmolality, glycerin-free formulas caused no such damage.
The numbers are worth knowing. Healthy vaginal fluid sits around 370 mOsm/kg. Many widely sold lubricants run four to thirty times that. In the study, products above 1,500 mOsm/kg visibly disrupted the cell layers and measurably weakened the barrier, while products under 400 caused no damage at all.
Make sure your lubes clearly say "propylene glycol free" and "glycerin free."
Water-Based Lube for Sensitive Skin
Water-based is a great place to begin when you start experimenting to find your 'goldilocks' lube.
Wicked Simply Timeless Aqua Jelle Lube was built specifically with perimenopausal and menopausal systems in mind. It is a thick, water-based gel with beneficial, functional ingredients. It contains squalane, the stable form of a lipid your own skin produces naturally — production drops off with age, so topical squalane helps refill that gap. Squalane integrates into the skin's outer layer and slows moisture loss. Vitamin E works alongside it as an antioxidant that helps skin retain its natural moisture balance and improves smoothness and softness over time. Aloe adds a soothing, hydrating layer on top of that. And this formula, like the rest of Wicked's water-based and hybrid lines, includes olive leaf extract, which the brand uses as a natural biostatic to help inhibit the spread of bacteria and microorganisms. It also works as a daily moisturizer, in addition to a lovely, thick, in-the-moment lubricant.
Hybrids come in when you want a bit more longevity than a pure water-based formula offers — meet Wicked Simply Timeless Hybrid Lube. It adds the slickness benefit of silicone, plus DHEA for tissue elasticity support and sodium hyaluronate for hydration, in addition to the squalane, vitamin E, and olive leaf extract. Wicked keeps the silicone in all their hybrids under 10 percent specifically so the formula stays safe to use with silicone toys. The Jelle version in particular is a thicker, longer-lasting take on the hybrid formula that is genuinely hard to find elsewhere.
Sutil Rich Water-Based Hyaluronic Acid Lube is our fastest-selling lube in store. Owned by a mother-daughter team out of Canada, this thick and luxurious lubricant has hyaluronic acid. HA is a humectant, meaning it draws water in and holds onto it, keeping it in the vaginal tissues. Sutil Rich is a thick, cushiony water-based, so it is still safe with condoms and every toy material. Not only does it last during play, the benefits last all day.
Silicone Lube: When You Want Maximum Glide That Lasts
Pure silicone lubricants are not absorbed by the skin the way water-based ones are, so they sit on the surface rather than soaking in, which is exactly why they stay slick far longer and hold up in water. They are also the pick most people reach for once dryness has become a more persistent issue and they need something that will not need constant reapplication mid-session. Silicone lubes also won't affect your pH, since there's nothing in them for your tissue to absorb.
Uberlube Silicone Lube is a thin, elegant option with a one-hand pump top, great for skin-on-skin play, massage that turns into sex, or anywhere you want to cut down on friction without much added texture. It has no lasting moisturizing benefit the way a hyaluronic acid formula does, but for reducing friction and staying slick, it is hard to beat. One note: like most pure silicone lubes, it is not recommended for use with silicone toys, since the two silicone materials can interact and degrade the toy over time.
pjur Med Premium Glide is a thicker, more cushioned silicone option, developed specifically for dry or highly sensitive genital skin. It is preservative-free and dermatologically tested, so if your skin reacts to a lot of products, this is one built with that in mind. The added thickness gives you more cushion than Uberlube, along with that same long-lasting slip silicone is known for.
What About Arousal, Not Just Lubrication?
For a lot of people going through menopause, arousal itself feels slower to show up than it used to.
That is where something like pjur Lust Vibrating Stimulating Gel comes in. It is not a lubricant, so pair it with one of the picks above. What it does is create a light buzzing, tingling sensation on external, sensitive tissue. That sensation can help nudge your brain into recognizing "this is what turned on feels like," which can ease some of the frustration of feeling disconnected from your own arousal response. It will not solve every part of low desire, but as one tool in the toolkit, it is a useful one.
If you want something stronger in the same lane, our telehealth practice HerTeleMeds makes a physician-formulated version — Erogenous Arousal Cream, compounded to support blood flow and sensitivity. It's a compounded product rather than an FDA-approved one, so it comes with a quick virtual visit.
When to Loop In a Clinician
Lube and moisturizer combinations solve a lot, but they also don't resolve all hormone-related obstacles on their own.
If you're experiencing any of the symptoms mentioned in this article but have always considered yourself "too young to be in menopause," you might be right. Or, you might be the product of a society that hasn't offered helpful or accurate information on menopause for decades.
It's worth considering if HRT (systemic hormone replacement therapy) or a localized vaginal estrogen prescription might be right for you. That's the side HerTeleMeds handles — including Revive Vaginal Estriol, a compounded low-dose estriol that treats the tissue thinning underneath the dryness rather than coating over it, and broader hormone therapy if your symptoms reach well past your sex life. All of it starts with a virtual visit, and compounded medications aren't FDA-approved, so a clinician will walk you through what fits.
At the very least, do a little read about it. Our friend and colleague Dr. Rachel Rubin writes about the magic of hormones here.
Whatever you choose to explore, come see us at Lotus Blooms, 1017 King Street in Old Town Alexandria, or shop the full lube and wellness collection online. We are always happy to talk through what might work best for your body specifically, no judgment, just good information.
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