So You're Curious About Spanking or Impact Play. Now What?
- "What if my partner teases me for bringing it up?"
- "What if my partner is so not into the idea of it, and me bring it up makes them self conscious?"
- "What if it hurts and I hate it?"
- "What if I love it?"
If you have ever thought any one of these, or typed "is it normal to be curious about kink" into a search bar at 1am, you are far from alone. Maybe it started with a scene in a show. Maybe it was a passing comment from a partner, or a quick slap during play that surprised you- and you didn't hate it, but you also didn't love it- yet. However it happened, you're here now, wondering about incorporating a bit more zing into your sex play. So where do you start? Here...
The curiosity itself is never the hard part. The hard part is everything that comes after it. How do you even bring this up? What if your partner thinks it's weird, or worse? What if you say the wrong thing and it becomes This Whole Thing instead of just a fun conversation?
Oftentimes, talking about new types of sex play is much harder than navigating the actual doing of the acts. But that's where we come in. Here at Lotus Blooms, our staff can offer you suggestions for starting slow and identifying what parts of the play sound exciting to you.
For some people, it's the power exchange, the rush of giving up control or holding it. For others, it's the added sensation itself, the sharp contrast between sting and softness that turns up the volume on everything else happening in the moment. Some people are drawn to the psychological side of impact play, the anticipation, the vulnerability, the trust it takes to hand that experience to someone else. Others simply love the sound, the crack of a paddle or the whoosh of a flogger adding a rhythm to the scene that most other kinds of play don't have. And for plenty of people, it's less about any one specific thing and more about the permission to explore something new at all. Whatever draws you in, there's no wrong answer, and we can help you start small.
Which of those sounded good to you? Were you interested in the sounds, but not so much the pain? Try a padded paddle- this will make a great sound when used against the body, but due to the squish, it offers minimal sting.
Or are you someone who is curious about the actual sensation of a flogger or spank, but you don't really like the anticipation/being jumpy? No problem, have your partner drag their hand across your body before impact- that way you know what's coming and can relax into the sensations.
If you strip away all the nerves, most people just want enough information to explore safely, and example of the language to talk about wanting to try something new. And that is exactly what our workshop is built for. Our beginner Impact Play class, led by sex educator Jax, starts from zero. Bring a partner, a date, or a friend and learn together. Or, stop by solo to gain some confidence. Either way, you'll leave with something a lot more useful than nerves
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