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Becoming an Awesome Pride Ally this June

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Written by Lotus Blooms Staff Writer
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Written by Lotus Blooms Staff Writer
Here in the D.C. area and in many other places around the country, when June comes around, all the rainbows go up (yay!) and it seems like there's a party, show, or parade every day of the month (YAY!) It may seem dazzling and joyful-- and it is-- but if you're straight or perhaps just beginning to explore what you believed about your sexual or gender identities, have you ever found yourself wondering what Pride is really all about? At Lotus Blooms, in the heart of Old Town Alexandria, VA we serve a lot of cisgender* and straight customers who look to us as a resource for education about all aspects of sexuality. It's a core part of our mission, and it's something we're all passionate about. We know that it can be hard to ask questions if you're shy or embarrassed, and that it can be overwhelming to see so much information out there and know where to start or what to trust. Whether you're local or not, we're always happy to help you. From using vibes to fitting corsets, inclusive language etiquette to questions about the trans experience, we are here to answer and point you in the direction of helpful resources. For the month of June while we're celebrating Pride in the capital, we will be answering your Pride questions via our online content. Not sure how to ask someone about their partners or their pronouns-- or even why pronouns matter? Don't understand the difference between sex, gender and sexuality? Not sure what anything past the T is in LGBTQIA+? #LearnwithLotusBlooms by following our hashtag on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter, reading our posts here, and asking us more questions. Afraid to ask tough questions on social media? We get it. Send us a DM and we’d be happy to explain more and give you additional resources to read. We love that you want to be a good ally and person, and we’re here to help you feel confident about making the effort. (To those of you who already do, we say thanks for letting us guide you!) Not sure if you belong at Pride? "That's great," you might be thinking, "but the Pride parade and festival is this weekend, and right now I just need to know if it's OK for me to go and what I should do once I'm there." We got you! Here's a quick cheat sheet to attending Pride as a straight person to kick off our #LearnwithLotusBlooms content:
  • For big public events like parades and festivals, yes, you're welcome to attend-- and it's likely you'll get caught up in the festive spirit! Just keep in mind that you're there as a guest and supporter of the queer community; it's not a show put on for tourists or a "weird" or "freaky" spectacle to gawk at and comment on.
  • The queer community is wildly diverse, and there's no fixed set of political positions or cultural values within it. This is a great chance to put aside any assumptions you might have (like "all queer people care about marriage equality") and just listen to the voices around you in order to learn.
  • Yes, you can dress up too! Part of the fun of Pride celebrations is the freedom of self-expression and the chance to be colorful, sparkly, and playful with your appearance. Plus, it's a great way to strike up conversations.
  • Along those lines, be extra-vigilant about celebrating others' appearances instead of judging them. It doesn't matter whether you like someone's outfit or think their body is attractive enough for it-- just appreciate that this is a space where everyone gets to be themselves and feel good about it!
  • Pride events can get flirty and feel like a free-for-all, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't still ask for consent before touching anyone. Conversely, if someone flirts with you, you don't have to consent to anything that makes you uncomfortable, but don't get offended that they might have assumed you weren't straight.
  • To really be an ally, now that you've been part of the fun, commit to being part of the movement. Supporting queer rights, organizations, businesses, and causes is a year-round need. Not sure where to start? That's part of where we come in! Follow our content to learn more about how to contribute in meaningful ways, about when to speak up and when to listen, and about how to use your straight privilege in support of the queer community.
Not sure why our posts sound like they do? If, on the other hand, you’re a frequent flyer at Lotus Blooms and a sex-positive progressive, you might wonder why our Pride month posts are so 101-level during a month that is intended to center and celebrate the queer community. We've found that we're often the front line of learning for a lot of people who are trying to talk about sex and sexuality for the first time in their lives, and that it's a lot less scary and intimidating to do that if we start simple and go back to the basics. Also, we want to do what we can to give our queer friends, family, and followers time off from teaching to enjoy your Pride activities and celebrations. Queer people who are out are so often asked to spend lots of (unpaid) time and labor educating others, correcting assumptions, and even justifying your existence over and over, and frankly, we know it can be exhausting. We want to take some of that on-- after all, our staff are educators, so it's literally in our job descriptions! At the same time, we're aware that our own experiences only represent part of the spectrum of identity and orientation, and we want to hold space for other voices. Please join us in conversation if you feel inspired-- comment and share your experiences, advice, and clarifications to our posts! Got something you wish cis & straight folks would understand better? Let us know! Just be prepared for the face that we're starting out talking in broader strokes to help everyone get up to speed. We’ll build up to the complex and nuanced conversations, we promise. (And let us know if we get something wrong!) Not sure about the need for Pride? If you’ve ever wondered why there is a Pride “for the gays” and not for straight people, or why “they” need to “flaunt it,” come stop by the store and chat with one of our staff. We’ll point you in a better direction. Really, come ask! We’d love to share stories with you to show how vibrant, important, and beautiful the queer community is! Also, we've got a “why is there a gay pride” post in the works, so be sure to follow our #learnwithLotusBlooms hashtag on Instagram and Facebook. And at the end of the day, please remember to simply be kind to everyone. * "Cisgender" is a term that means that someone's gender identity is aligned with the sex they were assigned at birth. For example, someone with a vagina who was assigned the sex "female" and whose gender identity is "woman" is cisgender, and not transgender or nonbinary (i.e. someone who does not identify exclusively as a man or a woman). It's a way for us to talk about gender identity without using terms like "normal" or "biological" that can have harmful assumptions or value judgments attached to them.

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