How to Take Sexy Selfies & Pose for Boudoir Pics
Being in digital times has forced us all to get creative about ways to stay connected to our partners, heat up our new connections, and keep feeling sexy through some very un-sexy circumstances. Fortunately, having high-powered cameras built right into our phones opens up a world of opportunities to do all three of those things with erotic photography.
Still, we realize that being in front of the lens can be fraught for lots of people. Body issues, shyness, and feeling awkward trying to find a sexy pose can really ruin the mood. We reached out to Julie Socher, a boudoir photographer right here in Alexandria, VA for some tips and guidance on how to make taking sexy selfies (or posing for someone else) into something fun and playful instead.
Some secrets about what the camera sees
One thing that could change your whole outlook on posing for photos is understanding better how things look on camera vs. real-life. Julie offers some points:
- Everything is flattened out in a photo until you add lighting. Good lighting creates the highlights and contours that make you look more natural and less two-dimensional.
- Things that feel weird look great! Exaggerated poses or ones that don’t feel natural actually look wonderful in photos.
- Along those lines, sometimes you need to position body parts in ways you’d never do in real life in order to create great lines and curves, and it might feel uncomfortable or hard to hold at first.
- There’s no such thing as too many photos. In a professional shoot, models and photographers expect to take dozens or even hundreds of pictures to get just one or a handful of perfect shots.
- Your eyes will really sell it. If you’re relaxing and having fun, and letting real emotion come through, your pictures will be striking. (We know, it sounds odd to think about trying to pose in all these unfamiliar ways and still have natural expressions. Make a game out of your “weird” poses and angles and let yourself laugh and play!)
Hot tip from Julie: “Framing does matter! You don’t have to have your entire body in the photo. It actually adds a little sexy mystery.”
Getting started: Setting yourself up for success
Whether you’re taking selfies, having your lover photograph you (date night idea!), or hiring a pro photographer for gauzy lingerie portraits, doing some prep work will make everything go much more smoothly. Here are some of Julie’s before-you-shoot tips:
- Choose your lighting. You don’t have to buy a lot of fancy gear. Natural sunlight through a window is some of the best lighting you’ll find. A simple ring light (you can get ones that go on a tripod, or ones that attach right to your phone) will also be bright enough to get a terrific shot. If you have a totally-dark room and a small, focused light, you might be able to play with some moody deep shadows and bright highlights.
- If you’re wearing any clothes, pick things that will make you feel better about your insecure spots. We love it when people feel free enough to go totally nude, but if that’s not you, no worries! Pick out some things that make you feel delicious and special, and it’s also okay to play peek-a-boo. Use something flowy or drape-y for parts that you want to skim, or use a boa or scarf or wrap to help you both pose sexy and teasingly cover spots you’re not ready to show.
- Pick your locations, and look at them through the camera lens (may not be necessary if you’re already working with a pro). How’s the lighting? Is there anything distracting in the background? What options does it give you for posing?
- Props, accessories, makeup, tousled hair, artfully placed furniture—all of these things can add fun, personality, and drama to your pictures.
- Prep a playlist! It’s much harder to get into a relaxed, sexy mindset if there’s distracting noise or silence that feels oppressive. Gather any music that makes you feel MMMPH and let it work its magic on you during your shoot.
Hot tip from Julie: “Getting in the right frame of mind is always a great first step. Are you feeling a bit va va voom like the burlesque goddess Dita VonTease? Or maybe you’re feeling a little mysterious like a secret agent Bond girl? Channel your sexy persona and put on some sexy music to set the mood. And a little wine doesn’t hurt!”
Working with a photographer
Don’t worry—very few people who aren’t models or performers have spent much time working with a pro photographer, so it’s natural to feel nervous or unsure what to do. Here’s how to make sure you’re working with the right person (especially for a boudoir shoot!) and get comfortable with them.
- Before you hire them, don’t be shy about asking them to show you portfolio examples of people who look like you—race, body type, age, gender expression, anything you’re concerned about. Not every photographer captures every body equally well, so make sure they know how to make you look your best.
- Your photographer should be prepared to guide you throughout the shoot. They’re the one looking through the lens, after all, so expect feedback from them about how to adjust your pose, find your light, and even try something new.
- If you’re doing a stylized pinup or boudoir shoot, they should be able to give you poses and help you understand how to achieve and hold them. They should have ideas for what to do, and be actively communicating with you the whole time. Beware a photographer that just wants you to “act sexy” and gives you nothing more than that!
- Pick a photographer whose work you absolutely love. Getting recs from other people is helpful, but if a style doesn’t speak to you, then you probably won’t love the results of your shoot.
- You should be clear about how long your shoot will be, how makeup and hair will be handled, whether you’re providing all your own wardrobe (some photographers have huge closets, others want to work with their clients’ clothing), how many setups or looks you’ll do, and how many photos you’ll walk away with.
Hot tip from Julie: “I will often show you exactly how those poses will look before we get into them and I of course take any physical limitations into consideration beforehand to keep you safe. And yes, your photographer should be telling you what looks good so know that you’re doing exactly what they need to get the perfect shot. Sometimes, they may even share a sneak peek on the back of the camera to show you!”
Tips for great poses
We’ve talked a little bit about posing, but let’s get specific with some of Julie’s expert info about what to do with different parts of your body. Don’t be shy about practicing beforehand—modeling is a skill like any other, and professional models work to perfect their best stances or to re-create vintage poses.
- Point your feet to make your legs look longer and show off their shape. [Sex educator tip: We often naturally point our feet during orgasm, so it also offers a subtle cue that you’re feeling sexy!]
- The eternal question: what to do with your hands? Simple—use them to create steamy suggestion. Unzip or unbutton, glide your fingertips along your neck or torso, touch your lips. It creates a desire to know what comes next.
- No slouching! Pull your ribcage up and forward and your hips back and down to get beautiful natural curves and a posture that radiates confidence.
- Cross your arms lightly over your chest to lift your breasts and get extra cleavage.
- If you’re facing the camera, push your chin forward (like a turtle) and tilt it down a bit to smooth out and define your jawline.
- Try a power pose—one or both hands on the small of your waist, feet planted slightly apart, or with one hip pushed out sassy to one side. Using your arms like this keeps them from getting squashed or flattened against your body.
- Bellies are a source of anxiety for lots of us. Instead of thinking about sucking yours in, try lying on your stomach. You can lie on your back and arch your back, or straddle a chair backwards. High-waisted panties or an artfully draped sheet might also make you feel more comfortable but still natural.
- Let your mind go to sexy, playful places—think about your partner’s delight in seeing your pics (or in taking them!), or something you like to fantasize about. It will shine through your expression and your eyes, and then you don’t have to worry about “posing” your face, which tends to look forced.
Hot tip from Julie: “The worst thing we can do is compare ourselves to others. Especially models who often have their bodies digitally manipulated for magazines and social media. The body you have is perfect, unique, and beautiful and you can pose in your selfies to be sexy!”
Put your best selfie forward
Selfies are an art, that’s for sure—and like any art, they benefit from practice and learning. Don’t worry if your first attempts aren’t great. Keep taking lots of them, from different angles and in different lighting, and discover what you love. Julie shared fantastic ideas and insights for making them work for you.
- Play with the front-facing camera, which will often give you your best pics. Learn to use its timer (or download an app like Photo Timer+) so that you can get your phone out of your hands and capture many more angles and setups. (If your phone has a stylus, sometimes that can be used as a remote control for snapping pics, too.)
- Use a tripod or a stack of books to position your phone. A small tripod with flexible legs lets you wrap it around chairs, railings, headboards, or other furniture for lots of options.
- Posing in front of a mirror gives you a chance to capture yourself front AND back.
- Remember that anything that’s closer to the camera will appear larger, so don’t be afraid to back that booty up to the lens for an amazing butt shot.
Hot tip from Julie: “One tip I learned from a photographer years ago was to look back at the photos you didn’t like and really find what it is that you don’t like about it. Then when you go take another photo take it with those changes you want to make. Maybe it was a weird hand position, or maybe you didn’t like the way your hair looked or maybe you should have positioned a different way toward the light. This will get you to understand the angles, lighting and posing better.”
Ready to get started?
You might still be nervous or wonder if you’ll love or hate your pics, but Julie has some final words of wisdom to pump you up: “Being in front of the camera fully clothed feels weird too, right? I always tell my clients, if it feels awkward or unnatural, or that it possibly won’t look good, you are most likely doing it right. There’s nothing natural about posing. Just keep practicing in front of the camera, and it will get easier.
“Turn on that sexy playlist, put on something that makes you feel like a sexy bad B, and just take lots and lots of photos until you find the angles that are unique to YOU!”
We’re so grateful to Julie for her generosity in sharing her expertise with our Lotus Blooms family! Want to get some pro photos done? Check out Julie’s boudoir studio and portfolio if you’re local. And don’t forget to shop our size-inclusive apparel for all the lingerie and accessories you could desire to make your pinup-darling dreams a reality.
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