Whichever entity created and perpetuated the myth that only aging or “dried out” women need to use lube, needs to be spanked- and not in the fun way. Here at Lotus Blooms we like to say, if you invest in only one sex toy in your whole life, a good lubricant should be the one. I strongly encourage lube for all people and for all play. For vaginal sex and anal sex, for oral endeavors, and for hands-only fun, with toys and without toys, and everything in between.
Contrary to the “advice” put forth by the infamous UFC fighter Ronda Rousey, the use of lube does not mean that you’re not “doing it right.” It doesn’t always mean that you aren’t turned on, and it doesn’t mean that your partner isn’t trying hard enough. Having said that, extra kisses, touches, and a bit of easing into the teasing always makes for an extra-fun experience. But in all seriousness, extending the foreplay- however pleasurable- does not negate the need for lube. More accurately, it makes the fun of foreplay last that much longer.
Using lube doesn’t mean that your body is broken or that you are nearing your sexual expiration date (fun fact: those don’t have to exist if you don’t want them to). Rather, natural lubrication can be affected by stress and anxiety, parenthood and the tasks associated, medical conditions and treatments, medication (including allergy meds), and much more. Plus, surprise! Our bodies change over time, all the time. And I’m not just talking about aging. People go through natural and regular hormonal cycles, in addition to life stressors and these hormonal changes impact the body and sexual response directly.
It’s not a stretch to say that lube makes all sex play better. Think for a second about the last time you had sex with a partner; think about all the different types of contact between you, where you touched and where you were touched. Sex tends to include more body parts that just the genitals, right? And not all parts of our body produce natural lubrication, and sometimes even the parts that do, don’t produce sufficient amounts for all the sex play that’s going on. The use of lubricant during anal sex is especially important because of the delectably delicate tissues in those regions of the body. Also, don’t be afraid to use lube during oral sex. Seriously, you drink water when you’re giving a presentation- so why not re-up your hardworking mouth with some slippery smooth assistance? You could even try flavored lube for this one. #protips
Ok, so what should you use? And when? Here are the 5 things you need to know:
- Most silicone lubes and silicone toys are not compatible; they bond together and create a melted-looking toy. If you have silicone toys and can’t live without silicone lube, pop a condom on it.
- Silicone lube makes an awesome massage product externally that is still safe to use internally. (Oil-based products are not recommended for internal use.) Plus, silicone lube resists water, making it great for shower play (or oral proclivities).
- Water-based lubes will need to be applied more generously and more often than silicone lubes; incorporate the putting-on process into the fun. Try a Tenga egg for a less mess, lube applying option.
- Thicker, gel-formula lubes are a phenomenal addition to anal play; the extra thickness provides a bit of cushion for those delicate tissues. These thicker viscosity lubes are also great for rougher play and play with girthier toys.
- Many commercial lubricants are not made out of body-safe ingredients. While not every body has the same sensitivities, we strongly suggest staying away from lubes with glycerin, propylene glycol, petrochemicals, and parabens.
Not every lube works for every body, the best advice I can give- do your homework and test out a few. Happy exploring and stay tuned for another in-depth look at lube!
Looking for lube? Check out our carefully-selected range of body-safe and long-lasting lubricants-- water-based, silicone-based, and aloe-based. Swing by the store to talk with our in-store educators and try out the ones you like on your hand to see what they feel like before you buy. We're always happy to answer ANY questions you have!